|This isn't me falling over (I'm not friends with Sarah Harding), but I feel for the poor lass, I really do...|
One of my very bestest skills (if you can call it a skill) is falling over. I've probably even blogged about it once or twice.
My preferred falling over incidents (and most talked about) are, in order of preference:
- That time I fell over at my friends summer barbeque, my heel got stuck in the grass and I was DOWN, face first, with mud all over my chin.
- That time I fell over in the pub (which time I hear you ask? there have been a few), well that time when I landed in a kneeling position at the bar after getting my heel stuck in the doorway, it's one way of getting served soonest.
- And that time I fell out of my car, again head first, and again after getting my heel stuck, this time in the hem of my trousers.
Well, in the first of my 'Tuesday: How To's', I'm addressing this issue with some top tips for falling over in a dignified manner:
- Always try to break your fall. Head first falling hurts bad. And you wind up with mud on your face, which makes your already embarrassed state rather much worse.
- Feel free to let out a little girly squeal (unless you're a guy), it makes people feel sorry for you, like they would do a small child and they are less inclined to laugh.
- Please make sure you are wearing good knickers. It's bad enough to fall over, but if you give everyone a glimpse of your 'I need to do some washing knickers' - the humiliation will last a LOT longer, I promise.
- If you are of the falling over variety, try to make sure you are with someone at all times. Falling over on your own is possibly the worst type of fall. With no one to laugh it over with you really do just look like a wally, or a drunk, or a drunk wally.
- Always inspect your heels for 'pretend' defects after a fall, if in doubt, blame the shoes but make sure everyone notices you 'blaming the shoes'.
- Never admit to being hurt. Once the commotion has died down, feel free to walk round a corner and scweam and scweam and scweam, but not while people are still watching.
- Allow people to help you up - even if they are sniggering. If they are not sniggering, be warned, they will snigger when they tell all their friends on facebook what they just saw.
- And lastly, whilst difficult, if you happen to be walking along with your beautiful friend, try to compose your facial expression when falling, the lady above has got it all wrong, if you are captured on camera falling, a smile is much more flattering.
What's been your best (or worst, depends on how you look at it) falling over experience?